Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Oh -oh

A time for everything 'cept blogging. I'm so wise. And it is done.

Thursday, 1 January 2009

A Time for Everything - Ecc 3:1-8

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace."

Happy New Year!

A wee, probably about mouse-sized, lifetime ago I started this blog cos I was bored in work. It didn't really get a roll on. Turns out there are lots of very clever, funny, interesting people on the Blogger and I just ended up amusing myself with their posts and leaving small deposits all over the bit. Plus, trying to formulate sentences with the interminable drone of the stupid in your ear and the steady trickle of saliva from slack jaw to keyboard, was, to say the least, tricky. So, in the spirit of the New Year, and my renewed determination ( "determination" - a noun, meaning the act of fixing or settling on a purpose - just in case there is any confusion) to provide my shrinking brain with some much needed stimulus (Fucking Santa Claus. No Nintendo DS with the games for brains for me again this year. It all could have been so easy. It never is...) I'm going to give this blogging thing another go. Is the fact that I've just spent the last ten minutes trying to think of a better word than, "thing" a portent for failure? Perhaps. But I shall refuse to look at it. What about that my first post is somebody else's work (see above)? STOP poking me Portent! Are those hands even clean?!
Anyway, there now follows my post. It's from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and someone had to die for me to bring it to you. Rest in peace Great Auntie Eschel. A very fine lady by all accounts and the daughter of the original Painted Ass.

Tuesday, 6 November 2007


Abbey killed my blog. Bastards. The End.

Monday, 23 July 2007

In praise of meme and memes

Ah, the humble meme. Loathed by some but a lifeline to the bone idle blogger. I kiss you.

Seven Songs - List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
  1. PJ Harvey - "Water" (the "The Peel Sessions" version). Love her and it. Hot. And quite possibly wet.

  2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Dudley". Love YYYs. Love Karen O. Total school girl crush. So many great songs but this one especially tickles my pickle. Bitter, bitter, bitter.

  3. Kate Bush - "Somewhere in Between". Just beautiful. The perfect accompaniment to late evening hedgerow smells.

  4. Team Sleep - "Blvd Knights". I've played this song to death but it still makes every hair on my body stand on end. No idea what it's about - must look up the lyrics (something about, "get back in the car .. dadeda.. you know who you are ... lalala ... knock on a star") so I can sing along as I throw myself about.

  5. Pearl Jam - "Even Flow" - Rocky, snarly, grunty, sexy (yeah it's not supposed to be but it does it for me) brilliance

  6. Zero 7 - "Distractions" - This song has tormented me for years. I heard it a couple of times, loved it but didn't know who it was. After a few years of suspecting it was Zero 7, I (actually Judge Head) finally got it and I've never been happier.

  7. Boogie Luv - "Boogie2Nite" - Cheddardance but I love it and I finally got a chance to dance to it on Saturday night at my cousin's wedding and it was a sight to behold I'm told. Oh what japes.
Anybody else out there?

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

I love me - yum

8 Facts / Ficts About Me

The Rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts/ ficts.
2. Each participant posts eight random facts about themselves.
3. Tagees should write a blogpost of eight random ficts/facts about themselves.
4. At the end of the post, eight more bloggers are tagged (named and shamed).
5. Go to their blog, leave a comment telling them they're tagged (cut and run).

The Facts / Ficts

1. My favourite city is Paris. Not particularly original but, there you go. I dream of moving there and spending my days wafting about, snogging randoms on benches on bridges and standing at my bedroom window, in my underwear, smoking cigarettes. My ambition in life is to be a big, fat cliche - as Gordon (the knob/god?, I'm undecided) Ramsey would say, "DONE".

2. My third year Biology teacher predicted that I would win a nobel prize before I reached the age of 30. Gosh, I sure hope I never bump into her. Maybe I could talk up my call centre shenanigans as some sort of experiment.

3. When I was wee I wanted to be many things, including a horse. I'd still quite like a swishy tail - only for special occasions mind. I would have been a dappled, grey arab, in case you're interested and, in this particular scenario, I would have spent my days racing across deserty sand dunes, with my tail stuck in the air and a swarthy Sinbad the Sailor type on my back brandishing one of those big curved swords in one hand and a Fry's Turkish Delight in the other, ahhh....

4. My favourite colour is green. That is all.

5. I've swum with Fungi the Dolphin in Dingle. It was beautiful, baby. I almost touched his snout. He swam up underneath me and I reached down to touch him. I was giggling like an idiot. Unfortunately, at the crucial point of contact, my snorkel airhole dipped below the water and I ended up choking and spluttering on the surface. By the time I'd recovered and stuck my face back in the water, he'd gone off to play with less stupid people.

6. I've had 23 jobs in my life so far. That seems a lot. Most of them were part time, admittedly. Still, I'm wrecked. Can I stop now please? Where is my millionaire?

7. I have a guardian angel. She is a nun called Agnes who was a cousin of my granny's granny or something. She potters about in my general vicinity, holding her rosary up to me now again to wish me luck. Yes, this IS a fact you cynics.

8. I'm a wreckless, risk taking, rule breaking, renegade. My bottom is raw and ragged from scrapping up and down life's edge. So, NO! I will not tag 8 other people (waves middle finger in air dangerously). It's nothing to do with the fact that I don't have 8 people to tag - not one little bit - no siree.

Friday, 1 June 2007

Me & my blog

So, I have this blog now and I'm not really sure how to start. I've had several abortive attempts already this week. The problem was that I had some hang ups about the whole blog experience - the exposing myself in public (well, cyberspace), the pressure to be interesting, clever and/or amusing, the doubt that I actually had anything to say or, in any event, anything new to say, the worry about accusations of attention seeking, the fear of rejection and ridicule etc etc (I could go on ad nauseam and probably will in future posts - you have been warned). And there seem to be so many different approaches and purposes. And my head was very ill after overdoing the Bitburger on Bank Holiday Monday. Anyway, I have finally got over myself, "got" that my blog can and should be whatever I want it to be and, true to form, got over my hangover to the extent that it is now a distant and amusing memory and I'm ready to go again. So, here I am and here my blog is and I hope that some people read it. If not, not tae worry - it's fun already.